Annie's Musings

Sometimes, life has a funny way of showing us what we need most. This summer, I had an interesting experience that shifted my perspective on abundance or should I say, profoundly impacted my view of lack. It all started with a small patch outside of my studio where I planted zinnea seeds for a second year. They had been so impressive the first year and I was excited to watch them thrive again over the summer. Despite my best efforts, nothing took root. I felt a bit defeated staring at the bare soiI. I really let it bum me out. It wasn’t a very impressive view for my clients to look out onto during our sessions. I knew that my reaction to the seeds not taking wasn’t rational, yet I couldn’t shake it. I realized that I was taking on the failed flowers as a metaphor for my state of mind at that time, I was relating my inability to grow the flowers to a feeling anxiety that had been growing in my mind because I had gotten hyper focused on a feeling lack. Then something unexpected happened. A volunteer cherry tomato plant sprouted in the very same spot where my flower seeds had failed. Some little bird, or squirrel ‘deposited’ a seed right where I couldn’t get the flowers to bloom. My mom swears it was from the compost that she gave me from her yard, I like the idea of an animal leaving it. However it got there, it was growing stronger by the day. As the weeks went by, that little plant flourished beyond what anyone could imagine. It grew to over eight feet wide and six feet tall, yielding hundreds of little tomatoes. It seemed like every day, there were more bright red tomatoes waiting to be picked. I made meal after meal with the fruit. One harvest inspired me to make the best balsamic, mozzarella tomato side dish for a dinner party of 12 and we even had leftovers! Anytime a friend stopped by I begged them to take some it was impossible to keep up with the production before they burst and spoiled. As my girlfriend Lisa was busy picking away at the gargantuan bush, all the sudden hit me, why in the world was I allowing myself to feel stuck in lack? Sure, this plant wasn’t printing money to pay my electric bill, but I didn’t buy one tomato all summer and I shared the abundance with friends. Life was showing me how abundance can show up in the most unexpected, yet beautiful ways. When I was able to slow down and appreciate this gift, I recognized the value of letting go of control. Abundance often shows up where we least expect it. When we hold on too tight to what we think should be, we can miss a gift that is right in front of us. Shifting my mindset to one of gratitude for what did show up gave me permission to nurture and share the abundance with those around me.

How do you reset from stress? I was lucky enough to travel to Spain for a coaching conference at the end of October. What an amazing experience I had, both the travel and the conference itself. Unfortunately, I came home with covid which totally threw off my plans of hitting the ground running. With no choice but to give in to my malaise, I rescheduled all of my appointments and began the cycle of sleeping for 15 hour stretches over the next 10 days. We make plans and God laughs That was the thought that popped into my mind as I reluctantly buried my head in my pillows. The original Yiddish expression is ‘Man Plans, God Laughs.’ When the little voice in my head said those words, all I could do was laugh to myself, “Alright”, I said to the empty room, “I get it Universe, you win!” I had such great momentum in my coaching business and a well laid out plan to keep it going when I was back in the States. Having to pivot for covid could have derailed me for the remainder of 2024. Luckily, through my personal journey and coach training I have become well practiced in stress management. I didn’t always have my stress under control. There was a time in the not too recent past that lived in a constant state of survival. My big Ah-Ha was realizing that I was the primary creator of my own stress . By staying busy and frazzled, I was unconsciously avoiding deeper feelings and truths that I wasn’t prepared to face. As Thanksgiving arrives a week later than normal this year, making Christmas less than a month away, it seems a good time to talk about stress. Whether our stress stems from being so excited to host and wanting to have everything just right for the big meal, or we are dreading a family gathering and what Uncle Bob is going to say to embarrass everyone, this is the perfect time for a reminder to slow down and take a moment for yourself. Oh yeah right Annie, how is there time for that, you ask? Not only is there time, it is crucial to take it so that we don’t burn ourselves out. Even if it is just a 20 minute break, going for a walk, doing one less thing on your to do list, it is so important. Filling your bucket first makes us all much more able to give to others from compassion versus from resentment. If it all feels like too much, consider this, when you feel yourself becoming stressed, don’t fast forward past it. Take a moment to consciously look at it. Sit with it and ask yourself, where does this stem from? Are you feeding into your stress? What do you have control over? Now, I am not saying that this week is the week to unpack those deeper feelings, just become aware of them. Since many of us will be with family, there will be opportunities to see old habits and patterns arise. And, just as we created those patterns and habits that aren't serving us any longer, we can replace them with new healthier thoughts and behaviors. That is what I love about coaching. There is science behind changing our behavior for the better so that we can live a calmer and more balanced life. Interested in learning more? Book a Clarity Call with me , I’d love to hear about your holidays and what you’ve discovered about yourself. Who knows, maybe you’ll uncover a pattern that you are ready to break.

I have no earthly idea what happened, I swear that September 1st was just last week. Here we are already at the start of the 4th quarter of 2024. I doesn’t feel that long ago that I was writing my January article challenging you on your New Year’s Resolutions. Ah, resolutions, something many of us set towards the end of December or as the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s Eve in an attempt to redeem ourselves from six weeks of over indulging with friends and loved ones. I find that resolutions fall off of our todo list more often than they become healthy habits that we weave into our lives. I much prefer to intentions to resolutions. To me, intentions are goals that we strive to keep because they are a more fluid idea that helps us focus on the present moment and guide our actions toward a more fulfilling life. Intentions are easier to adjust along the way. By definition, resolutions are more of an all or nothing, pass/fail situation that can leave you feeling unaccomplished if not completed just so. Such as committing to going to the gym six days a week or doing Whole30 for the month of January. We start strong, committing for the first few weeks, then losing steam before a true habit is formed and our behavior is changed. October is the time of year that I always start thinking ahead and planning what the next year will look like for my personal and professional goals. This past August, I shared with you my manifestation journey and I have to say, everything that I desired to manifest has happened or is in motion! I’m super excited, so where next? Here’s what I want to share with you as you begin thinking about your goals for next year. Whether you are planning for your personal growth or professional development: How do you want to feel? Thats right, as you begin to dream big and explore your intentions for 2025, how do you want to feel? What are your wishes and desires? What fuels you? What will achieving this thing make you feel? I found a workbook I had picked up a few years ago from the author, Danielle LaPorte, called The Desire Map, in it she explains that, “ Desire drives more than our animal instincts. Desire is the power of wanting. It’s an engine of creativity and purposeful force. When we desire something, we’re willing to plot and plan to get it… In all cases, desiring something forces us to get creative in order to work out how were going to get what we want. ” And all desires stem from a feeling. Let’s use a financial goal as an example, instead of plainly stating “I want to be making $xx by Q2 2025,” what if you instead committed to, “I am so excited that I have reached my financial goal of $xx and my kids and I are going on our dream vacation to the mountains in May.” When we can come from feeling we feed our soul, and our goals based in emotion better challenge our growth. What do you think? Can you set aside for a moment all of the facts from financial obligations to family responsibilities that are swimming around in your head with all of your other to do’s and genuinely focus on how you want to feel? As a special treat for those of you who are also planning for your intentions for 2025 and beyond, here is a visualization that I created for the Vision Boarding class I teach each January. It’s a chance to get lost in your future and all the feels it gives you. I hope you find it inspiring in setting your inventions for a kick ass 2025, because it is never too soon to start dreaming about your desired future. If you’re interested in chatting more about your goals for 2025, I welcome you to book a free 15-minute clarity call with me by going to my calendar here. Or by clicking the button at the bottom of this page.

Resentment is a curious thing, when you dig into it. For me, it was when I was able to get past the point of blaming the sources of my resentments, regardless of how sticky-icky the situation felt, that I was able to release any burden of negativity that I was carrying. When I reflect upon past resentments, I realize that I am the most triggered when there is a misalignment of values. It really fires me up when someone doesn't recognize or, even worse, chooses maliciously to not respect a value that is important to me. Staying in an angry and ultimately resentful place can become our default. Even more so when it is a situation in which you know the person is purposely pushing your buttons. The addictive resentful behavior is fueled further if you play in the game perpetuating the blame cycle. Let's be real, how does that make you feel? Not great. I recently shared this concept with a friend. Honestly, I might have been a bit smug, thinking I was offering some profound wisdom about how I’ve overcome my resentment issues. But then, they responded with this: "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die" Um.... how have I made it to 50 and not heard this quote? Versions of this statement have be attributed to Nelson Mandela, Malachy McCourt, even the Buddha. My goodness, have I wasted time and energy 'poisoning' myself. Here's what I think; it's all about our perception. Although we likely see resentment as triggered by something outside of ourselves, we get to choose how we perceive the situation. I further believe there are times when we unintentionally create situations that lead us to feel resentment. When my perception is different from someone else's, I have a choice. If it is worth it to me, I can communicate with the person the way in which I disagree with their perspective, a.k.a. exercise a boundary. Doing this can help dissolve any potential resentment. We are responsible for our reaction to situations and that includes situations that we subconsciously create. That means being willing to recognize if my frustration comes from an unspoken expectation, something the other person couldn't possibly have known. Once I realize this, I can decide to communicate my perspective more clearly. For me, breaking the habit of holding onto resentment starts with noticing when that irritation begins to build. Holding onto those feelings only hurts me. That was the “ah-ha” moment that led me to take responsibility for my part in the situation. I am practicing better communication, instilling more boundaries, and when necessary, choosing to ignore someones attempts to bring up any feeling of resentment within me. It’s my choice and I’m ready to set that poison down.

I’ve been so busy this month… BUSY MANIFESTING!

I recently attended a ‘free’ coaching webinar, you know the kind with the not-so-hidden agenda of selling you a product that you probably don’t need and shouldn't buy? Well, good news! I got away without buying anything. They did pose a thought-provoking question: Would you choose $100,000 or the chance to give advice to your 25-year-old self? They shared that most people choose advice, valuing the potential of the long term change in their life over money. This got me thinking about my two freshman children, one headed to high school and the other entering college. Given that my attempts at imparting wisdom fall on deaf ears with them, what’s the chance that my younger self would hear anything that I had to share? That thought, compounded by the fact that I know of no way to to travel to the past, leads me to share my insights with you here. My journey to becoming a coach required a lot of unlearning. I have discovered key insights that I integrated into Annie 2.0, a.k.a, THE Annie Dietz. Insights that have allowed me to live a more balanced and enjoyable life. I have to say that it feels amazing to be living my life more aligned with my authentic self. I am passionate about how I show up and honor myself, as well as, those I care about, and sometimes most importantly, how I honor total strangers. We all have different purposes in this life and I believe we share a common desire to better understand ourselves. Some people explore this deeply during their time on this planet, while others choose not to; that is great! It’s an individual choice. Unlearning, for me, meant sorting out inherited beliefs, biases and behaviors from my own observations. From this I then decided how I want to show up in the world. Recognizing that my life lessons may differ from yours allows me to appreciate the beauty in our uniqueness and respect others instead of judging them for being different than me. We are all learning different things at different times. Here are some insights I’ve gathered that might resonate with you. Love Yourself First Without having self love, there's no way to fully share your love with someone else. Seeking validation from outside sources keeps you seeking, chasing, and finding fault in others as a way to overlook the faults in yourself. I firmly believe that learning to love and accept yourself, flaws and all, is the foundation for a happy and fulfilling life. This can be tough to really own. Embrace your uniqueness and remember that what other people think of you is NONE of your business. Trust Your Instincts and Follow Your Passion Listen to your gut. If I had a dollar for the number of times I didn’t listen to my gut, well, I’d be writing this from some tropical paradise instead of in my coaching studio. When you trust your instincts, you are listing to your inner wisdom and aligning with your true self. Go with the flow, if something feels right, pursue it with enthusiasm. Conversely, know when to let go. If you keep hitting a brick wall, it might be time to consider another path. Be careful about allowing your ego to take the lead. Yes, passion fuels perseverance. The talent lies in being able to make an informed decision and knowing when to pivot with purpose. It Takes an Awful Lot of No’s to Get to a Yes When you get a no, ask yourself if you are closer to understanding what it will take to get a yes? Perseverance is an important skill to possess, as long as you can discern when it is right to push forward from when you are going against your gut (see above) . Prioritize Self-Care and Well-Being How often have you seen quotes from people in their 90s reflecting on life? The common theme is that no one regrets not spending more time at work; they regret not spending more time with loved ones and enjoying life's little moments. For me, this also reinforces loving yourself first. Self-care isn’t selfish; refueling yourself allows you to give more to others. I achieve this in many forms, including exercise, downtime, and engaging with friends and family. When you are with the ones you love. Be. With. Them. Be Present. Set down your phone, take your focus off of everything else. Practice living in the moment. Presence is a gift that can bring such joy to your life. So, what do you think? How does this resonate with you? What unlearning have you experienced that makes you who you are today? Or did you choose to take the money? There is no wrong answer.

Balance. What does that word mean to you? We often talk about balancing work, family, and personal time. But is perfect balance even possible? I've been pondering this lately, both personally and with my clients. This is an area we all struggle with. For me, I tend to go to extremes. Either work consumes me, or I focus entirely on my family. Recognizing this about myself has made me question the quality of my efforts. Am I truly pushing my business forward? Am I present with my family? Maybe my extreme focus on each is just keeping me busy without real growth in either area. Life is unpredictable and in my opinion the only known predictability is that surely something unexpected will arise when I least expect it. What if, instead of fighting this, we flow with it? Perhaps achieving balance means initially working in extremes? When I stop being so critical of myself, I wonder if my intense focus on business stems from my drive to succeed and possibly, feeling guilty, I shift my focus to my family. The one thing more important to me than finding balance between work and family is being healthy enough to to stay around and enjoy both. A few months ago, I decided my health was a priority above all else. I needed to start there and make health my first change in working towards balance. I have tried different diet and exercise routines on and off most of my adult life. Talk about not having balance, or maybe the better word is consistency? self control? what's your reason? I have a dear friend, Karen Lindsey , who is a Faster Way coach . As fellow coaches it is easy for us to support each other. Her focus of health & fitness align so well with my passion to help people realize the benefits of a healthy mindset. I have seen the transformation she has been able to achieve over the past four years in her life by making her health routine a non-negotiable. Without her even pushing me, I did what any wise coach does when they need to be challenged in an area outside of their expertise. I hired her as my coach! It has been eight weeks since I started working with Karen. Even with the plans' provided structure and my extensive knowledge of food and nutrition, my learning curve was steep for the first few weeks of doing Faster Way. Building this habit took up more time than I wanted it to. That’s okay. I committed to learning all that I needed. I wanted to make this new routine more than just the next thing I would try. I wanted to create this non-negotiable as part of my lifestyle. I knew that this was the foundation I needed to gain the balance I craved in other areas of my life. Having an accountability partner helped me stick with it. Slowly, I began to wake up excited to get my workout done, not wanting to miss it. I liked how my muscles felt and I was seeing the benefits of my work. With Karen’s help I figured out ways to cut my prep time down and still stick with eating the healthy foods I was now craving. Have I gotten out of balance with this new habit since I started? Heck yes, I have! I took a brief summer vacation with my kids and allowed myself to focus on them and not worry so much about counting macros or fitting in every workout. One thing I have learned is making time for my health is very doable without disrupting my daily routine. Have I had to let other things go to make this possible? Yes, I am consistently getting up 30 minutes earlier, which is getting me to go to sleep a bit sooner. That is a sacrifice I am willing to make and actually a healthy adjustment. All of this; forming new habits, falling off of them and getting back on track is part of my journey towards achieving more balance. I have learned what I am capable of with the right desire, commitment and most importantly the right accountability partner. I am ready to apply what I have learned about myself and this experience to the next area of my life. I see how this slow and steady foundation is leading me towards eventually experiencing extremes that aren’t so extreme and finding the right balance for me.

It’s 4 pm on Friday, my phone alarm is buzzing. I’ve just finished my last coaching session and I need to leave to pick up my son from track practice. I have a few more things to wrap up for work, I can squeeze them in and still be on time… Nope, I can’t. It’s all good though, on to the next thing. Racing to my son’s school, my thoughts are still at my office thinking of all that I didn't get done and calculating how I will fit them into my overbooked Monday. Then there is the dinner party tonight, I forgot to pick up wine! I'm driving the familiar route on autopilot, shifting gears from the past to the future and back again. I hardly remember how I made it to this final turn. It’s all good though. I’m here now and on to the next thing. I am pulling into the school parking lot. As my son walks towards the car, I remember an important article I promised to get to a client. Surely I can squeeze in one last text before he opens the car door… Okay, done! On to the next thing. “Hey, how was practice?” I asked, “Fine,” I think he said, though I wasn’t paying attention. Then he says, ”So, my board is at home, we’ll just need to run by and get it, but before we do, can we pick up my friend? His ride fell through and I don’t want to skate alone.” What in the world was he talking about? Oh, that’s right! I promised I’d drop him at the skatepark. Great, fine. On to the next thing. I am trying not to get irritated with my son as I remember that his friend gets out of school later than him. Now we have to wait for him, great. Suddenly, I remember the bag of clothes in my car that I have been driving around for the last two weeks. I need to get them back to my friend who lives nearby. Perfect, we can do that while we wait. I swing by to drop the bag at my girlfriend’s, taking a few minutes to catch up with her. I smile at her as I glance back toward my irritated teen. Without a word between us, she gets the gist of my busy afternoon. We laugh together at the wackiness of our working mom lives and my dizzy head slowly stops spinning. She briefly updates me on her world. I work to give her my full attention. Just before I head back to my car, I admit to her that I am not sure what is going on, “I’m feeling super anxious and I can’t seem to shake it.” She looks at me, smiles, and says, “Girl, you know exactly what’s up, you can’t control the future, so stop worrying about it. It’ll only get you spun up! Try to live in the present.” I feel tears forming in my eyes as the corners of my lips curve upward. My friend called me out! She has reflected my teachings right back at me. “Touché,” I say with a smirk. She lovingly replies, “This is why we have each other.” Presence, being present, living in the now. It’s not an easy task for any of us. How had I let myself get so worked up? I am a coach for heaven’s sake, I know better. Presence is one of the eight core competencies I adhere to as an ICF-certified coach. During sessions, I give my clients my attention, fully conscious, in the moment, nothing else matters kind of attention. Being present for someone and holding space for them to feel heard and understood is close to 80% of my role as a coach. We all crave this from others, real connection. At that moment, I wasn’t remotely close to emulating presence. Why was it so hard for me to do be present for myself or for my son that afternoon? My friend did me a favor, she knocked me out of the hamster wheel I was riding into my weekend. I had fooled myself into thinking I was being present. Finishing one thought to make room for the next wasn't practicing presence. It was moving from thinking of the past to focusing on the future. I was skipping over the only thing that matters, the present moment. I took a deep breath as I got back in the car. Before I pulled out of her driveway and on to the next thing, I looked at my son and smiled at him, pausing until his eyes met mine and he smiled back. For a brief moment, we were present with each other. My mood lightened. This was the first time I had been present for myself all day. When his friend got in the car, I paid closer attention and listened to his answer when I asked how his week had been. We had a great conversation, these boys were cracking me up! Somehow I had two teenagers willing to engage with an adult, even letting me in on the latest gossip among their friends. I couldn't believe it, it was a small gift that left me light and happy. How often are you truly present in your daily life? My story is just a quick glimpse into a typical day, I am sure you have similar stories. Presence doesn’t have to be another to-do you book on your calendar. I invite you to work on becoming aware of the moments you find yourself feeling anxious or depressed. We could benefit from paying attention the next time we ask a friend a question. Are we truly listening to their reply or are we too busy thinking about what to say next? Ask yourself, “Am I living in the past, present, or future?” Taking just a few seconds when you feel out of sorts to ask that question can slowly create a new habit that builds small moments of presence into your life.